Well, we're officially close enough to the wedding to begin receiving gifts and need to write thank you notes. For some reason, thank yous are one of the most dreaded wedding experiences. I have a hard time understanding the issue but it is issue enough to have endless content on websites and wedding books dedicated to this task.

Andy and I are already trying to be organized. We've purchased cards. We made an excel spreadsheet to keep us organized. Now its time to take all the advice I've compiled on the subject and put it to good use!

The Knot has offered some insightful tips:

 “Set up a designated writing area at home. Make sure it's a comfortable place, not too far from the kitchen or bathroom, with a TV or radio nearby."

Does my living room qualify?

“Equip yourself with pens that you like to write with. Stay away from the cheap supermarket variety that make big ink blobs when they're overused. Go for a more grown-up writing instrument -- roller-ball pens are much smoother. Mont Blanc makes some impressive models, if you've got the cash. Go ahead and have it monogrammed, as long as you're in we're-married-now mode. "

WHAT! I'm supposed to have special married lady pens? These people are smoking crack. I'm sure the pens in my drawer are well equipped to write nice words too.

They even offer sample thank you notes, particularly for the always awkward $$$$.

Well I finished Rebecca Mead's One Perfect Day so it's time for a little book review.

Overall, it was a pretty interesting book but I didn't learn anything THAT shocking about the wedding industry. I've already blogged about the Unity Candle which was really my one big surprise. I didn't realize the unity candle trend is only about 20 years old, tops.

I learned a bit about the history of David's Bridal and how it became the first real off-the-rack wedding salon as opposed to the other designers that require 6 months lead time to produce your gown. Its sort of the Walmart of the wedding world but in this case I'm ok with that. I cannot justify spending thousands of dollars on a gown. I don't spend that much money on clothes ever and I don't see my wedding being that exception. Andy has loved me and thought I was beautiful in my $2 Old Navy t-shirts that I own in 15 colors. I don't think I need $5000 in crystals to make him realize he's making the right decision.

The book did cover the world of wedding planning and its rising role as a career path. It was interesting to hear a little about the founding of this field. It makes perfect sense given that more and more women now work and we have less and less training in the formalities of entertaining (except for me because Amy Vanderbilt taught me the PROPER seating arrangement at every type of dinner party. Side note, did you know that those RSVP cards that are wedding standard in invites were only devised because unmannered Americans stopped learning how to write a proper RSVP themselves. Ya know, get out a pen and paper and write a note back that says you'd love to attend. Now we practically write it for our guests, complete with stamp. WHO KNEW? But enough on this, I'll write more etiquette book musings later.)

Overall, the wedding industry is cut throat. They do their best to make everything feel like a sentimental must have, like your wedding will be doomed without it. Like every other product we buy in the US, its made overseas under deplorable labor standards.

The book was  easy to read and did have some funny anecdotes from the wedding experts the author followed. The book basically reiterated many of the retail aspects of weddings that I detest. It tried to explain the bridezilla culture and the quest to have your wedding be a declaration of your personal style. If you're looking to delve into the workings of the industry, this book will be a good read for you!

On one of my trips to Traverse City to see my family, I ended up in a used bookstore. Actually, I was in the bookstore with Andy looking for old Goosebumps books because he wanted to complete his childhood collection. I, of course, found myself something to read.

I found The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette. Originally published in 1952 but I found the 1978 update. Immediately, I delved into learning how to throw a sit-down dinner with one maid and other entertaining essentials. My friends patiently dealt with my proclamations that I was going to throw a proper sit down dinner even if that meant I had to find Becky a suitable dinner date since I learned it was completely unacceptable to invite a woman to dinner without also inviting a single man for her!

"It is also rude to ask a single woman to bring her own date to dinner, as this puts her on the spot. She may not know a suitable man to bring... If there is no suitable dinner partner for the widow, divorcee, or single girl, however, the hostess should tell her in advance".

Then, I realized, this lovely guide may also help me with wedding etiquette! Now, I've actually already bought and thoroughly read one modern etiquette book. I also forced my sister (and maid of honor) to read the chapter on responsibilities of a bridesmaid. I also told her if she sucks at her job that there's a chapter on removing members of the bridal party! So, obviously, I've already learned a few important things about etiquette.

But, today, I was pleasantly surprised that this old etiquette book covers the engagement! Apparently there is engagement etiquette. This seems like a logical place to start since I'm engaged and most definitely violating social rules by trash talking people's bridesmaid dresses on this blog. OK, Amy Vanderbilt, make me a lady.

First, I'm utterly dumbfounded. Amy Vanderbilt supports my non diamond ring!
 
"The traditional engagement ring is a diamond solitaire. However, today anything goes- a ring with many colored stones, a ring with large semiprecious stone...Some women prefer no engagement ring but choose a wedding band that is studded with stones instead. No one has to have an engagement ring. A girl may want her fiance to give her a pearl necklace instead, or a jeweled watch."

This book may be one of my favorite purchases ever. I think this section really summed up nicely how I feel about engagement rings. Its the thought that counts. 

Now, tonight I'll end with the very good advice on the Behavior of an Engaged Couple. In fact, I think this is good advice for any couple!

"Whether an engaged couple is living together or not, an old rule still prevails: people should be restrained in demonstrating their physical feelings toward each other in public... It is far better to think how much they must be bursting with physical desire for each other than to see them actually demonstrating it".

And I'm off to bed, I don't want to even begin to cover the other 100 pages on wedding etiquette tonight!