Well I finished Rebecca Mead's One Perfect Day so it's time for a little book review.

Overall, it was a pretty interesting book but I didn't learn anything THAT shocking about the wedding industry. I've already blogged about the Unity Candle which was really my one big surprise. I didn't realize the unity candle trend is only about 20 years old, tops.

I learned a bit about the history of David's Bridal and how it became the first real off-the-rack wedding salon as opposed to the other designers that require 6 months lead time to produce your gown. Its sort of the Walmart of the wedding world but in this case I'm ok with that. I cannot justify spending thousands of dollars on a gown. I don't spend that much money on clothes ever and I don't see my wedding being that exception. Andy has loved me and thought I was beautiful in my $2 Old Navy t-shirts that I own in 15 colors. I don't think I need $5000 in crystals to make him realize he's making the right decision.

The book did cover the world of wedding planning and its rising role as a career path. It was interesting to hear a little about the founding of this field. It makes perfect sense given that more and more women now work and we have less and less training in the formalities of entertaining (except for me because Amy Vanderbilt taught me the PROPER seating arrangement at every type of dinner party. Side note, did you know that those RSVP cards that are wedding standard in invites were only devised because unmannered Americans stopped learning how to write a proper RSVP themselves. Ya know, get out a pen and paper and write a note back that says you'd love to attend. Now we practically write it for our guests, complete with stamp. WHO KNEW? But enough on this, I'll write more etiquette book musings later.)

Overall, the wedding industry is cut throat. They do their best to make everything feel like a sentimental must have, like your wedding will be doomed without it. Like every other product we buy in the US, its made overseas under deplorable labor standards.

The book was  easy to read and did have some funny anecdotes from the wedding experts the author followed. The book basically reiterated many of the retail aspects of weddings that I detest. It tried to explain the bridezilla culture and the quest to have your wedding be a declaration of your personal style. If you're looking to delve into the workings of the industry, this book will be a good read for you!

Part two.

Yesterday I explored the rise of the diamond to a place of honor at all things wedding. Today, I'll take on another icon and object of my confusion... the white wedding dress.

OK, don't give me that purity and innocence thing. It wasn't a good enough answer for diamonds so its certainly not for the white dress. The white dress is THE icon of weddings. The white dress and the diamond solitaire are the two icons that on their own scream wedding without the aid of anything else.

Before I delve into the history, I'm going to give a few personal opinions on white. I am blonde and pale. From a fashion standpoint, there is nothing more cruel than white. Its a hard color to wear. In white, I looked washed out and my skin looks blotchy. In teal and blue and purple, I think I look radiant. Or just not sickly.

On a more practical note, I'm a slob. Andy says I eat like a 4 year old. I literally spill something on myself at every meal. I cannot help it. So, as you can see, the notion of wearing white is just pretty ridiculous to me.

I know its tradition and when you wear white everyone knows you're a bride but in my head I envision looking like a cancer patient covered in marinara stains. So, in an effort to warm up to white, I'm going to explore the tradition. I've already ditched the diamond solitaire so maybe I should give the other wedding icon a fair shot. Here it goes.

Until the mid 1800's, most brides wore the nicest thing they had in the closet. The only two rules: 1. no black (its for funerals) 2. no red (its for prostitutes!). However, once Queen Victoria choose white for her 1840 it became the "it" color. This is quite impressive being that there were no trashy mags or E! displaying the paparazzi photos of the event. I really wonder how everyone heard about this!

Some say that white became the color of choice because it showed wealth. A white dress is truly impractical. Imagine trying to wash and re-wear a white dress in 1850. Probably not going to happen! Therefore, a bride in white came from a family who could afford such niceties. Although, other reports say resourceful brides did dye their dresses after and re-wear them.

By the 1950's, images like Grace Kelly being married in white cemented the white dress as the icon we know it. Seems like everyone wants to dress like a princess!

Even before white was all the rage, dresses were expected to reflect the status of the family of the bride. Throughout history we're all familiar with the weddings that brought warring families to peace or even united countries. Obviously the bride better look pretty good if she's uniting a country. Perhaps someone should remind some of those insane girls on Say Yes to The Dress that act like the world may end if they don't get the right dress that at least their choice won't play a role in creating actual peace between nations. I feel like a few people I've seen on that show could use a reality check like this.

I found this poem about the color of your wedding dress. Some of these are downright terrible. I mean, if you get married in yellow you'll be ashamed of you man!

Married in White, you have chosen right
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Blue, you will always be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Brown, you will live in the town,
Married in Pink, you spirit will sink.

But, white it seems pretty much everything is "wrong" other than white, I do have to point out that blue means you'll always be true. This isn't bad?! And, teal is a shade of blue... just saying.

Another fun tidbit, the reason bridesmaid wear identical outfits is because originally the bridesmaid all wore dresses that were like the bride's dress. This was to confuse evil spirits or rival suitors! So, really we should ALL be in teal.

Well, I must say I'm relieved to find out that the white dress wasn't also a marketing scheme. But, there's really not a clear answer to how the white dress became so exclusive.  I thought somewhere along they way I'd find another decree from a pope since everyone always says the white dress stands for virginity and that's a big church thing. But, nope. It doesn't even seem like the church has gone this far. So, basically, white is just popular!

This was fun and I hope you all learned something!

I decided that being the premise of my blog is that I like teal more than white, I figured it was time to do some digging and explore these traditions, superstitions and other wedding trends we all know some well. Why we do them in the first place? If you're like me, we all know what to expect at a wedding but really have no idea why! I figure if I'm thinking of breaking tradition (or as I like to think of it, starting my own tradition), I should fully understand their origins! Or maybe the origins of traditions will make me rethink including them in the wedding.

Since this whole thing started off with my long time love affair with aquamarines, I'll start with the engagement ring! Everyone knows that "diamonds are a girls best friend" but I want to know why we think that. How did the diamond rise among all the other gemstones to earn this coveted place as the truest sign of love and affection?

Well, I hate to shatter all your dreams but the whole diamond thing is just one big truly successful marketing campaign! But, I'll get to that in a second. First, we need a little engagement ring history. The custom of the engagement ring is common in many cultures. Its said that in 860 AD Pope Nicholas declared that an engagement ring was a must. He declared a man must be able to show his financial commitment to his bride to be with a gold ring for the engagement to be real. Over the years, various gemstones have come into fashion. The ruby seems like it was a popular choice because of its red color being associated with love.

As for diamonds, the Venetians were some of the first to regularly use diamonds as engagement stones. Also, around the same time in 1477 Archduke Maximilian of Austria gave a diamond ring to Mary of Burgundy. Overall it seems like people seem to respond to something the royalty are doing or that there is an expansion of colonies or trading routes that makes a new gemstone available and it quickly comes into fashion. But, the diamond still did not attain the status it enjoys today.

So where did our current diamond trend come from? For that, you can thank De Beers! Because of them, "A diamond is forever" is one of the most recognized slogans EVER! But why are diamonds forever? Everyone knows they're the hardest stone but they're not the rarest (score one for rubies). From a chemical standpoint I'm pretty sure a lot of gemstones could fall into the lasting forever category. But, I suppose a nice diamond is clear and pure and will represent a flawless marriage to come.

This link is nice history of this De Beer's Campaign from getting Americans to buy diamond engagement rings, getting couples to buy a three stone anniversary ring AND getting single ladies to buy themselves right hand rings.

Basically what I learned is that some smart businessmen owned diamond mines and wanted Americans to spend more smackers on diamonds. De Beers convinced us that a diamond is forever. Once they got all Americans wanting diamonds for engagement, they set out to conquer the rest of the world. Then, their ever so clever marketing department realized that they needed to get people to purchase diamonds multiple times in their lives, not just engagement, so they invented the three stone anniversary ring. Who can resist a ring signifying past, present and future? It's so romantic you don't even realize its marketing! Now that's clever. Then, the kicker is this whole right hand ring trend. Us silly American women are spending more time in school and such, so we're not getting married young. If we're not getting married then we're not having men buy us diamonds, so what better move then to create a diamond ring to show off how fierce independent women don't need a man to buy a diamond. While my feminist side is screaming that the truly independent thing to do would be to show you could live without a diamond period I'll quit while I'm ahead.

Seriously, those De Beers people are tricky, savvy businessmen. Their ploy to create a diamond crazy world has been so smooth that I don't think any of us had any idea! I certainly didn't when I started liking aquamarines. I just liked them better. I had no clue that all this thought went into shaping our culture into loving the diamond. I'm pretty sure most people have no idea that the tradition is actually so new. I was very surprised that diamonds didn't become the prevalent choice until the 1930's. From movies, etc it seems as if this is a tradition that's hundreds of years old! Honestly, this makes me feel a little better about my personal anti-diamond decision. Now I can just claim that I'm following an even older tradition before this newfangled De Beers craze. Just kidding.

Honestly, I enjoy the other meanings associated with gemstones. Once I learned that aquamarine is the stone of sailors and said to bring safe passage while at sea, I was sold! Aquamarine is also said to bring valor, contentment and insight. That's not too shabby either! Oh, and did I mention that the Romans believed it was a gift from the mermaids (I LOVE the little mermaid!). And last but not least, its supposed to help bring communication into a relationship.

For you other gemstone lovers, here's some gemstone meanings:

Emeralds represent love and rebirth. They bring safe travels on long journeys (which I suppose you could consider a marriage?!) It bestows faithfulness!

Pearl is unlucky at weddings! They are the teardrops of the moon. But its said to stimulate spiritual transformation. And it promotes prosperity and success (not to shabby for a bad luck charm!)

Ruby is essentially a red sapphire. They're both made of corundum! Red is ruby, every other color is sapphire. Wearing a ruby brings contentment and peace. Rubies also bring power and vitality and for this reason they were worn by royalty and soldiers in battle throughout history.

Sapphire contribute to mental clarity. It is a stone of prosperity and is said to help the wearer achieve her aspirations! Wearing sapphire also protects you from natural disasters (a plus on the gulf coast!).

Amethyst is "traditionally worn to guard against drunkeness and to instill a sober mind. The word amethyst comes from the Greek meaning "without drunkenness" and amethyst is believed to protect one from poison." (note to self: wear your amethyst earrings to beerfest next weekend)

Garnet is for eternal love and mental healing. The garnet was thought to protect people from poisoning so it was worn by people bitten by snakes or attending banquets to prevent food poisoning (romantic!) Garnets can be used to make a person popular. Garnets also make you more compassionate.

Diamond "It is said diamonds are good for coughs and mucus problems." Diamonds represent purity. They also bring positive resolution to the wearer.

So, there you have it. Modern American diamond engagement rings. I actually thought that this was such an interesting topic that I think I'm going to buy this book on Amazon.

I'll also throw in a little disclaimer aimed at the droves of diamond wearers reading this... I DON'T HATE DIAMONDS! See, I have diamonds in my engagement band and in my wedding band! So, I don't want to hear any "she thinks my diamond ring is contrived." No one thinks diamond are ugly, some of us just like other stones more.

If you love the gemstone trend, there are a bunch of threads on the subject on the Wedding Bee Forum.

I'm so happy with my ring. Its exactly what I wanted. I'm glad I got something that isn't a traditional choice because in the end its what I'm happiest to wear every day. Plus, my mom's engagement ring isn't traditional either. Its a white and black pearl (yep, those unlucky pearls!). So, I'm just following her lead. Thanks Mom!